The Indian police has long been criticized for its overweight police personnel. They have been battered time and again due to this serious issue that has been plaguing the police force for decades. Although the police and the government might have come up with many solutions, none of them actually worked. But, now is the time for them to bring to test an innovative idea, which might be bizarre, but will surely bear fruit.

We all know that many (almost all) police officers are fat and overweight (read pumpkins). But why not all? Well there is a reason behind that too…

The new recruits are the ones who stay slim for at least a year. Why? The simple reason is that they have to do all the running – running the Indian police! (pun intended). But, it’s true that the Indian police force follows a strict rule (another joke!). Once the new recruits join duty, they are assigned the job of doing all the running. When someone comes to the police station to file an FIR, it is these guys who do all the hard work, i.e. chasing -- not the accused, but the ones who come to file the report; they chase these guys out of the police station! Now that’s hard work! And, mind you, there is a well chalked out plan for chasing too, i.e. a rape victim is chased up to a mile out of the police station, a dacoit victim is chased half mile and so on... Repeated offenders (those who are stubborn, and come again to file a report) are chased twice the length they were chased earlier!

Now, an intelligent question: Why don't they do the chasing in a police jeep?

Well, police jeeps are usually unavailable, thanks to globalization. These days, so many antique car rallies are being organized in India, so police vehicles are shifted there -- not for patrolling, but for participation‼!

Again, the new recruits are the ones who chase the robbers (another joke!). Well, they don't chase all the robbers, but only those who slip by the police without giving them their commission‼!

Half of you might be thinking that why the policemen don't shoot all these guys, why chase them?

Because my friend, there are, again, two kinds of police personnel in India:

• First type - the one with danda.
• Second type - the one with gun? False. The one with a danda which has a barrel attached to it!

Kyonki police ki chalti to hai nai (bandook nahi chalti; waise police ki toh chalti hai), so bandook bhi dande ka hi kaam karti hai!

Then why the hell does the government not provide them with the guns?

Well, the reason is because it is a crime in India to provide any kind of gun to a criminal gang. So the government is bound by the law, you see‼! The guns actually meant for actual policemen on display in the museums, because these are antique items‼!

Now, back to the innovative idea which was mentioned in the beginning -- how to help the policemen shed their (baby) fat?

Here’s the solution: From now on, the policemen must be assigned duty in a different manner, such as each day must be assigned to an officer irrespective of the rank. They will be assigned a job of chasing the people who flock the police station for filing FIR, and same for the robbers… And I bet, you’ll see the results in six months‼!

You might be sarcastically criticizing the Indian police by now, but they are actually doing a better job than ASI (Archaeological Survey of India) by safeguarding historical monuments and items, i.e. their own police stations, guns and their jeeps; 'cause ‘robbers often carry away a police jeep’ (remember ‘carry’, and not ‘drive’)‼!.

Now, if we do a comparison between Indian police and American police, then in Bollywood terms (Vivacity just concluded!), if American police is Hrithik Roshan, then Indian police is John, (not John Abraham, dude) but apna John Prakasa Rao Janumala, popularly known as Jonny Lever‼!


Himanshu Rawat
Y12 Undergraduate, The LNMIIT

Reading Between the Lines: The Middle East Crisis

For many of you the American condemnation of Syria for use of chemical weapons might not come as a surprise. The American decision to invade Syria might seem to be an obvious thing for all the people, but what is not obvious is the reason for the invasion. Well it is neither oil nor the use of chemical weapons. It is, actually, much more than that. Why are the Americans so adamant to attack? And what are the exact causes?

Irrespective of what the causes are, it is for sure that the reasons are not what America claims. There is obviously more to it than what meets the eye. After all, how can it be that the world's biggest violator of human rights suddenly turns so benevolent that now it’s actually touched by the death of a thousand people by chemical misuse; and that too halfway across the world, thousands of kilometers from its own land, and mind it, that’s the same country that led to the death of lakhs of Japanese by recklessly dropping two atom bombs in World War II, despite having almost won the war. America is not talking peace but has always brought war upon others. History says that wherever American forces have landed they have brought along nothing but war, misery and death.

Now arises the big question that why is America attacking Syria; or even considering it as an option. This all didn't start a year back or so but has been going on since decades. We all know about Israel, the puppet state ally of USA in the Middle East, Israel has actually fought 5 wars against its Russian-backed neighbors, and in these wars it was not only Israel and its neighbors (Syria, Egypt, Jordan Iran, Iraq), but also America and Russia indirectly fighting. 

Whenever there has been a war in the world, these two super powers have showed up there and started supporting one faction, for e.g. in civil war in Vietnam, South Vietnam was supported by USA and North by Russia (or USSR, at that time) and again, when USSR occupied Afghanistan, it was America who supported Taliban to oppose the USSR, these two countries have always been fighting their battles in the foreign lands.

The disintegration of USSR in 1991 led to the end of the cold war; but the remnants of it can still be seen in the current conflict of Syria, where the current government is Russian friendly, and because of that they are facing the wrath of the most powerful country in the world. America is determined to topple the current regime so that the next American friendly government can be installed leading to the addition of one more ally.

In this game of influence and power the ultimate loser may be the Syrian people as their country may turn into another theater of war between the rivals Russia and America. It may turn into another Afghanistan or Iraq or Vietnam or Korea and the ultimate price of the conflict will be paid by the Syrian population, thus leading to the revival of the cold war era with America on one side and China or Russia on the other.

However in the past few weeks we have seen the twist in the event, as the events of the diplomatic crises between the USA and Russia unfolded and the dust started to settle. It seems that America has reluctantly accepted the peace offer extended through which Syria offers to self destroy its chemical and biological weapons arsenal. This method seems to be a perfect solution but how come a nation that was hell bent to destroy the current Syrian regime so as to put an USA friendly or at least a neutral government accepted this proposal. It's all there (reason) but you can't see it, it is not the Russian pressure and not even the UN pressure. It is the pressure of the American people; people with their most sophisticated weapon, their voice. This voice can make and break the government.

This weapon was on display in the French revolution in the past. This weapon did its work in the Libya, Yemen, Tunisia and Egypt (twice). It was the power of the people of Syria (their protest against the incumbent regime) that gave America the chance to try and overthrow the Syrian regime. If the power of the people can overthrow the most cruel and authoritative dictators and regimes then where does the USA lies. As soon as the American government or more specifically the President gave a go ahead for the attack on Syria, the popularity of the most famous president of America (in recent times) plummeted to a new low. The American people openly displayed their displeasure on the decision and disregard for president. The US president who was once termed the most powerful person of the world was brought to his knees and forced to give way to the Russian peace offer just because his people said no to war. 

This act of the American people displayed to the whole world that the person whom the whole world termed the most powerful person in the world is actually a just another man who has been assigned the task to look after the country and if he fails in his duty then he too will be fired from the job and a new one will take its place. This display of power of the people in the Middle East and USA made the so-called powerful people of the world realize that the power actually resides with the public. With the Middle East crises all set to fade into oblivion if the negotiations go well as just another chapter in the big book of cold war. The question arises which one of them has won this one, - America, Russia or Syria. The answer is simple none of them and I don't think I need to tell you who did because you know it already, it is already there but you can't see it.

Himanshu Rawat

Y12 Undergraduate, The LNMIIT

Why BJP Should Win the 2014 Elections

Time and again BJP's Prime Ministerial candidate Mr. Narendra Modi has been criticized for his alleged role in the Gujarat riots, allegations only with no concrete proof and same is the case with his party which has been accused of seeking communal path to gain victory. It raises a serious question, If BJP by supporting hindus is seeking a communal path then what is Congress doing by granting 4.5 percent reservations to Muslims and what it has been doing for the past so many elections. 

BJP might be resorting to communalism in an attempt to win the upcoming election but at the moment it is our best bet if we are to get rid of the incumbent government which has brought disgrace to the country up till now in its second term and is hellbent to further push the country in an economic depression by its policies such as Food Security Bill. This proposed bill will put more pressure on the overstretched budget (costing Rs. 2 lakh crore). With Modi at the helm BJP has the power and intellect to pull the the country out of the precarious situation it has been embroiled in. 

I don't know much of economics but I know that at this delicate moment when India is staring at the financial depression (thanks to mismanagement and torrential raining of scams in UPA regime) the government, instead of addressing the problem of rising Current Account Deficit (5%OF GDP) is actually focussing on a last ditch attempt to lure the voters and win the election by dumping vast sum of money into the dustbin. If 4 rupees are spent by government in providing food to the destitute people, 1 actually reaches the targeted section and the rest 3 is absorbed in between by the corrupt officials and dealers. The proposed policy has so many loopholes and yet the government is spending more on food distribution system rather than addressing the present problems.

Tonnes and tonnes of food grains rot in the government godowns every year and yet nothing has been done to curb this, nothing has been done to rectify the problems in the public distribution system. At the moment the GDP growth rate has plunged to a decade low of 4.4 percent thanks to congress. Due to blatant corruption and the vested interests of the ruling party the growth is all time low in a decade, Rupee has plunged to 69 (all time low in the history of India), investors no longer want to invest in our country citing the volatile situation and fragile government of the center, inflation is near double digit and yet the government rather than trying to tackle all these issues is busy passing the Food Security Bill and Land Acquisition Bill which will further put more pressure on the overburdened financial structure of the country. 

Lets hope that the Financial System doesn't collapse and there is no further slip up in the current projection of the growth rate of the country till the upcoming election, as it has become an accepted fact that in the upcoming elections BJP will grab more seats thereby snatching the power from the hands of the deceitful congress. Lets hope that we can keep it together till the elections because once the elections are done it will be the BJP government steering the country back to the safe waters and spearheading all this will be the messiah of Gujarat the man of his word, the idol of many and the greatest leader to have born following the end of Nehru-Gandhi era.

Mr. Modi, the one who led Gujarat to the path of unprecedented growth, leading to windfall gains in every sector, his leadership credentials unquestionable and his gains and achievements unparalleled in the history of modern and independent India. Lets hope that this man whose name has become the synonym of development growth and success becomes the next prime minister of our burgeoning and at the moment faltering country and lead it to the same path of development as has been witnessed by his native state Gujarat under his reign. 

Lets hope that a new deserving economist is seated as the PM of this country rather than the incumbent one whose economic policies have failed because IF THE CURRENT ONE CONTINUES TO BE IN THE OFFICE THEN WE WILL VERY SOON BE ACQUAINTED WITH A NEW TERM OF MONEY MILLIONS, BILLIONS TRILLIONS AND ONIONS. These are the famous words of a leading economist of India. 

One of the best Prime Ministers to have served the country, Shri Atal Bihari Vajpayee is the lone BJP Prime Minister to have completed the term. We as a nation have brought the Congress to power so many times since independence, now in the face of all this corruption it is time to hand over the reign of the country to someone who has proved himself than handling it to another self proclaimed prodigy of Congress whose only claim to the post is because of his family roots and who had neither been tested nor proved to be deserving for the post of the PM. 

Himanshu Rawat

Y12 Undergraduate, The LNMIIT