The Indian police has long been criticized for its overweight police personnel. They have been battered time and again due to this serious issue that has been plaguing the police force for decades. Although the police and the government might have come up with many solutions, none of them actually worked. But, now is the time for them to bring to test an innovative idea, which might be bizarre, but will surely bear fruit.
We all know that many (almost all) police officers are fat and overweight (read pumpkins). But why not all? Well there is a reason behind that too…
The new recruits are the ones who stay slim for at least a year. Why? The simple reason is that they have to do all the running – running the Indian police! (pun intended). But, it’s true that the Indian police force follows a strict rule (another joke!). Once the new recruits join duty, they are assigned the job of doing all the running. When someone comes to the police station to file an FIR, it is these guys who do all the hard work, i.e. chasing -- not the accused, but the ones who come to file the report; they chase these guys out of the police station! Now that’s hard work! And, mind you, there is a well chalked out plan for chasing too, i.e. a rape victim is chased up to a mile out of the police station, a dacoit victim is chased half mile and so on... Repeated offenders (those who are stubborn, and come again to file a report) are chased twice the length they were chased earlier!
Now, an intelligent question: Why don't they do the chasing in a police jeep?
Well, police jeeps are usually unavailable, thanks to globalization. These days, so many antique car rallies are being organized in India, so police vehicles are shifted there -- not for patrolling, but for participation‼!
Again, the new recruits are the ones who chase the robbers (another joke!). Well, they don't chase all the robbers, but only those who slip by the police without giving them their commission‼!
Half of you might be thinking that why the policemen don't shoot all these guys, why chase them?
Because my friend, there are, again, two kinds of police personnel in India:
Then why the hell does the government not provide them with the guns?
Well, the reason is because it is a crime in India to provide any kind of gun to a criminal gang. So the government is bound by the law, you see‼! The guns actually meant for actual policemen on display in the museums, because these are antique items‼!
Now, back to the innovative idea which was mentioned in the beginning -- how to help the policemen shed their (baby) fat?
Here’s the solution: From now on, the policemen must be assigned duty in a different manner, such as each day must be assigned to an officer irrespective of the rank. They will be assigned a job of chasing the people who flock the police station for filing FIR, and same for the robbers… And I bet, you’ll see the results in six months‼!
You might be sarcastically criticizing the Indian police by now, but they are actually doing a better job than ASI (Archaeological Survey of India) by safeguarding historical monuments and items, i.e. their own police stations, guns and their jeeps; 'cause ‘robbers often carry away a police jeep’ (remember ‘carry’, and not ‘drive’)‼!.
Now, if we do a comparison between Indian police and American police, then in Bollywood terms (Vivacity just concluded!), if American police is Hrithik Roshan, then Indian police is John, (not John Abraham, dude) but apna John Prakasa Rao Janumala, popularly known as Jonny Lever‼!
Himanshu Rawat
Y12 Undergraduate, The LNMIIT
We all know that many (almost all) police officers are fat and overweight (read pumpkins). But why not all? Well there is a reason behind that too…
The new recruits are the ones who stay slim for at least a year. Why? The simple reason is that they have to do all the running – running the Indian police! (pun intended). But, it’s true that the Indian police force follows a strict rule (another joke!). Once the new recruits join duty, they are assigned the job of doing all the running. When someone comes to the police station to file an FIR, it is these guys who do all the hard work, i.e. chasing -- not the accused, but the ones who come to file the report; they chase these guys out of the police station! Now that’s hard work! And, mind you, there is a well chalked out plan for chasing too, i.e. a rape victim is chased up to a mile out of the police station, a dacoit victim is chased half mile and so on... Repeated offenders (those who are stubborn, and come again to file a report) are chased twice the length they were chased earlier!
Now, an intelligent question: Why don't they do the chasing in a police jeep?
Well, police jeeps are usually unavailable, thanks to globalization. These days, so many antique car rallies are being organized in India, so police vehicles are shifted there -- not for patrolling, but for participation‼!
Again, the new recruits are the ones who chase the robbers (another joke!). Well, they don't chase all the robbers, but only those who slip by the police without giving them their commission‼!
Half of you might be thinking that why the policemen don't shoot all these guys, why chase them?
Because my friend, there are, again, two kinds of police personnel in India:
- First type - the one with danda.
- Second type - the one with gun? False. The one with a danda which has a barrel attached to it!
Then why the hell does the government not provide them with the guns?
Well, the reason is because it is a crime in India to provide any kind of gun to a criminal gang. So the government is bound by the law, you see‼! The guns actually meant for actual policemen on display in the museums, because these are antique items‼!
Now, back to the innovative idea which was mentioned in the beginning -- how to help the policemen shed their (baby) fat?
Here’s the solution: From now on, the policemen must be assigned duty in a different manner, such as each day must be assigned to an officer irrespective of the rank. They will be assigned a job of chasing the people who flock the police station for filing FIR, and same for the robbers… And I bet, you’ll see the results in six months‼!
You might be sarcastically criticizing the Indian police by now, but they are actually doing a better job than ASI (Archaeological Survey of India) by safeguarding historical monuments and items, i.e. their own police stations, guns and their jeeps; 'cause ‘robbers often carry away a police jeep’ (remember ‘carry’, and not ‘drive’)‼!.
Now, if we do a comparison between Indian police and American police, then in Bollywood terms (Vivacity just concluded!), if American police is Hrithik Roshan, then Indian police is John, (not John Abraham, dude) but apna John Prakasa Rao Janumala, popularly known as Jonny Lever‼!
Himanshu Rawat
Y12 Undergraduate, The LNMIIT
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